This is my story

Some of you will won't believe a word of what's to come, others will believe all of it, and some of you will pick and choose. Take it, leave it, something in between, this is the start of my story...

When deciding where to start my thoughts always come back to Marshall. So we're talking back in the good old days when we had our "crew" of friends and hosted movie nights monthly at "Melrose Place." Mark and Laurette announce that they're having a baby and the plans begin. We all dream up all of the activities we'll be doing with the little guy, hiking, snowboarding, volleyball and of course movie nights. We even went to Niagara Falls while Laurette had Marshall in her belly -- it was such an exciting time. So finally Marshall Daniel Mo Potter arrives and Jay and I visit and I visit with Lane and he's awesome, but something's not right. I ask about his "floppiness" and Laurette's thinking he may need OT/PT which is totally fine since that's what she does for a living. Well, son of a bitch it turns out he has SMA and friggin has to die on us. I will never forget being in Chris and Sarah's apartment and seeing his little white coffin go into the church. I think I still have the little prayer paper thing from his funeral in my fancy black coat.

After he passes Laurette becomes a bulldog in the fight against SMA. There's no stoppin this powerful, stronger than life woman and her life's cause.

Now I've always struggled with the purpouse of life (like many teenagers) and my place/purpose in this world. I felt good to be a teacher and give back, and volunteer occasionally and adopt cats, but it was never enough. I always thought that something would happen in my life to give me a bigger cause -- that I too would be a Laurette someday, and I always just knew that it would be something with my kid. I couldn't tell what, but I knew it wasn't going to be retardation, autism, CP or anything where my kid was actually "sick" or "not typical," but I felt it in my bones that something would happen with my kid and I would be forever devoted to a cause. (Even Jay has always said that he felt this to be true, it's just who I am, when I set my mind to something I go at it like a mother bear ripping the face off of some preditor trying to mess with her cubs, ex. 4.0 in college, carried the banner for the school of Human Development and Family Studies, ha that's funny now to think that's my degree!)

And the one charity that I have always volunteered for throughout high school? March of Dimes. *For those of you who don't know, it's to help prevent the birth of anymore preemature babies.

Now of course at the time it would have been ridiculous to think "I'm going to have a preemature baby!" but looking back I know that my life has had subtle signs as to how my path is going to unfold. There is purpose and meaning in my life path -- a LOT of it. This is just the first installment, there's more to come when I can get buddy boy to sleep a good stretch! But know this: I was sent to certain people for a reason, and there are LOTS of people who were sent to me for a reason too.

Hope to have you follow my story, believe or not. :)